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Starting today’s news with a shocker, the follow-up to the Gary Stocklaufer story has many people, me included, fuming … and wondering what the heck is going on with the world.
Can an adoptive father go much further than to put himself under the knife to prove how important a child is to his family?
Please read Deb’s blog post today for a deeper look, and ways to help.
The Wall Street Journal has an article on adoption-related issues from possible employee benefits to new restrictions coming into play when adopting internationally.
And very worrying for me, and the rest of the world that doesn’t happen to live in America, this from the Washington Post says a lot about how much US manufacturers and the Consumer Product Safety Commission care about us.
Dumping ground. Yep. That’s the world outside the good old US of A.
From toys to pacifiers and a lot in between, goods that don’t make the safety standards are shipped to other countries, so while the Federal Government is creating hoops for killer toothpaste and such coming INTO the US, no one is much bothered about what is going OUT.
Commissioner Thomas H. Moore of the CPSC said in a list of legislative proposals regarding the agency. “Our export policy is based on a desire to see U.S. manufacturers be able to compete in foreign countries in terms of price and marketability, not safety.”
Gee. Thanks.
And for parents concerned about the possibility of eating disorders in our kids, and we all should be given the epidemic rate of anorexia in the developed world, here is an excellent article that will clue people in on what NOT to say to kids … things that, although seemingly well-meaning, can crank up a downward spiral for a child on the edge and suck them into a very dangerous vortex.
Put together by a group of girls who are overcoming eating disorders at a facility in Minnesota, it’s a list of five things they wish they had never heard. Comment like, “You’re big boned,” and “I hated my body, too, when I was your age,” can be the lettuce leaf that puts the camel in danger of sciatica.
Knee jerk remarks like, “You look great! Have you lost weight?” send wrong and dangerous messages and need to be weeded out of the vocabulary of parents.
“You can put up with how painfully cold you are all the time,” says 18-year-old Edie Kuss from Minneapolis, “and that you’re so weak you can’t stand up. What you crave is the praise—and that’s what you remember even when it stops because you’ve gotten too thin.”
As proven by the Gary Stocklaufer case, weight is the last bastion of acceptable prejudice. The bias against fat is not only responsible for the mess in Missouri that has removed a happy child from a loving family, it is also killing our kids.
You are so on target.
I’d say sexuality is too, but weight is a close, close second. Or perhaps tied. Folks rip on the overweight constantly.
“I’d say sexuality is too, but weight is a close, close second. Or perhaps tied”
Absoloutely….weight and sexuality could almost go togehter, couldn’t they? They are very tied together in a lot of ways…..most markedly in the area of self-esteem. It’s hard to be sexually healthy when you’re worried about your weight. And for some of our children, it’s hard to be anything healthy when you’re worried about your weight.
“Folks rip on the overweight constantly.”
What’s worse, we rip on ourselves. How many comedy acts, on public and private stages, revolve around the “I’m so fat, ……” mantra? People who are overweight are not only supposed to be open about it, we’re expected to have a sense of humor about it.
Like life’s not hard enough…..
I have been looking, but I cannot find anywhere that the Court said that weight was an issue in the Gary Stocklaufer case.
I am an analyst by profession and have seen many, many assumptions and assertions that weight is the factor but nothing that SHOWS that weight is the factor.
The fact that he already adopted another child would be proof AGAINST the idea that weight was the factor, because if weight was the factor, the court would have denied the other adoption also, instead of granting it.
Could someone please point out to me where either the judge or the attorney or the GAL or anyone else in an official capacity said it was because of weight?
I believe the court mostly refrains from comment, citing “confidentiality” in an ongoing case, BUT if you look at earlier interviews you will find the following…
This is in the article located here…
http://blogs.usatoday.com/ondeadline/2007/07/judge-foster-fa.html
Im my opinion, I seriously doubt that Mr. Stocklaufer would resort to hasty extreme surgery if the court had not made it completely clear to him that his weight WAS in fact the barrier to the adoptive placement.
Thank you, Deb. This addresses and answers the question posed by the interestingly-monikered commenter above.