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A story out of Liverpool recently caught my attention I was reading through my Google News Alerts. A young woman, Rachel Selby, will celebrate her twenty first birthday on March 22nd and she is hoping to locate her birthmother before then and invite her to her birthday party.
Searching occurs every day and is typically a challenge for birthparents and adoptees alike, but what makes this story a tad different is that Rachel was abandoned on the steps of a church in 1987 and discovered by two policemen. The police tried hard to find her birthparents but had no luck and Rachel was adopted at six months old. Back then, Rachel graced the front page of the ECHO (the newspaper this story came out of) and now with her adoptive family’s support and blessing she is in the ECHO again as she takes her search for her birthmother (or “birth mum” as Rachel refers to her) public.
I think what struck me the most about this story and article was Rachel’s positive attitude. One might think that a child abandoned at birth on the steps of a church might grow up with some anger or resentment towards her birthmother, but (at least through this article) there are no signs of aggressive anger or resentment. Rachel says:
“It has taken me years to come to the decision to try to find her. And I know that there is the slimmest chance in the world that I will. But I have to try. I am nearly 21 and that is a big birthday. If I don’t try and find my birth mum now I may never do it.”
Rachel goes on to say that she had a very happy childhood that was full of fond memories and that she doesn’t remember exactly when she was told that she was an abandoned baby and adopted – it was just something that she always new.
“I never really thought about my birth mum until my teenage years, and then I started wondering about where I came from and why she abandoned me. I knew it would be hard on me emotionally to start looking for her, so I’ve waited until I was older. I don’t feel angry or resentful towards her and I would never judge her. I don’t want her to feel guilty because I had a happy and stable childhood. I just need to know why she did what she did. I’d love to know things like do I look like her and what my biological dad was like and if he knew about me.
I would like a relationship with my birth mum but if she does not want that, it’s fine. Even information from other people about her would be fantastic. I understand that she will have her own life, and probably a family of her own, and that the decision to leave me must have been very hard.”
I hope that Rachel gets her birthday wish and is able to locate her birthmother.
Hi my Mom’s maiden name is Selby.
I know my relative’s came from England. I have a female cousin Mother sister’s daughter put up for adoption so I was searching for her. However, I am fairly sure that Michelle is a cousin, she may not be the 1st cousin I was looking for but is probably a 2nd third or forth cousin. Most of my Selby relative’s came over the pond with william Penn and settle in PA, I have a copy of Selby family crest at one time there was a Duke in family. Most of my immediate family lives in Colorado but also still have relatives back east. Would be willing to contact Michele.